The Internet guilt-trips me into spending time with her.  Seriously, she holds me at emotional gunpoint and says things like, "You spend more time at work than with me!", "We never have any 'us' time anymore!", or the ever popular, "I want a quickie before school!"  So I end up giving her a little bit more of my time.  I set aside Facebook breaks throughout my study day.  I check up on the celebrity gossip before I leave the house every morning.

 

The more time I spend with The Internet, the more time I want to spend with her.  Every Wikipedia article I read or write makes me want to read and write more.  I would much rather watch Shakira's Grammy performance on YouTube than study ichthyology.  I've forgotten to eat meals, I've ignored bodily needs!  All because The Internet commands my attention.

 

I've been thinking about changing the scope of our relationship.  Not a complete break-up, but perhaps a shift from our marriage to more of a no-strings-attached, friends-with-benefits kind of relationship.  I won't have to pay so much attention to The Internet, and we can both see other people.  But when I absolutely have to find out what kooky thing TomKat has done lately, I can. 

 

I just don't know how to break it to her.  I don't know how to communicate that it's nothing personal, I just need a life other than X-Talk.  Maybe if I cheated, The Internet would leave me and say all the hard words for me.  I could start spending time with my family and friends.  I could read a novel, or watch a movie!  But no ... that won't work.  I'll just be crawling back to The Internet the next day, begging for another chance.

 

So it seems I'll have to be the one to put up boundaries.  I'll have to be the one to tell The Internet, "I'm sorry.  But my work is more important right now."  She'll find someone else.  She always does.

 

Love, --KM